Updates for April, 2004

Updates on John Chase from April, 2004

Posted Sunday, August 29, 2004 at 4:45 pm

The weeks seem to tick by quickly, here we are time for another chemotherapy session. I'll plug John into an IV tonight and he'll check into the hospital tomorrow morning. He will be in the hospital until Thursday or Friday depending on when the drug levels drop to a safe level (pray for a Thursday discharge). He has been bouncing back from this chemo drug (methotrexate) quickly and life has been pretty normal otherwise. John's heel sore is completely healed and with exercise his foot is getting stronger. Swimming has been a great was for him to blow off teenage steam. Keep praying that the paralyzed nerve on the top of his foot would be restored. Many comment on John's upbeat attitude..that's God in him.

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:16-18) I was in conversation with some friends when one of them remarked that his problems are trivial compared to our family's trial with John's cancer. My mind drifted to the phrase written by Paul "our light and momentary troubles". When this all started I was amazed by Paul's understatement of his many hardships. Stoned near to death, shipwrecked, beaten, imprisoned, his life was constantly threatened. I realized during that conversation that my perspective of life is being refined by my son's cancer. No matter what the hardships, they are light and momentary compared to the eternal glory that they are accomplishing. God gives us almost daily glimpses of the eternal glory he is working through John's cancer. Immagine what God is doing that we can't see. Yes, cancer stinks... no, I would never deliberately put my son through this... yes, it is a light and momentary trouble compared to the eternal work God is doing through it.

Thanks for praying...God is good...Phil

Posted Sunday, August 22, 2004 at 9:10 pm

John did well with chemotherapy this week... no vomiting, plugging through school, pretty cheerful except that he had to stay until Friday because his drug levels didn't fall as fast as last time. There was some question about a medication error. Six months ago my head would feel like exploding if that happened but this time..."whatever Lord, you take care of it." I guess that is what surrender is all about. John's heel sore has healed and he enjoyed the luxury of swimming in the pond again. It didn't matter that the water was cold and the air temperature 60 degrees. He came out of the water with blue lips, shivering, and happy. A week off of chemo now. Pray for no mouth sores, DEATH TO CANCER, enjoying each day, and intimacy with Christ.

"It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees." (Psalms 119:71) I read once that it is the ragged edges of life that bring us in close proximity to the text. It is so true that when my feelings are low, when God seems distant, when I want to hit the rewind button and delete a scene of my life, the words of scripture come to life with power, comfort, and hope.

Thanks for praying....Phil

Posted Sunday, August 15, 2004 at 5:06 pm

John has been doing great. He quickly bounced back from the last chemo. Thankfully he didn't get any mouth sores, vomitted very little, and really feels good physically. He is caught up with his school work (which we started up last week), reads Star Wars novels, and is plugging away at strengthening his foot for his prothesis. He says that he is actually looking foward to being able to do chores again. His positive attitude is a daily testimony to God's love and grace being poured out on him, the same grace available to anyone who realizes their need. Tomorrow starts up his next round of chemo...we're hoping it will go as smoothly as the last.

"Deal with your servant according to your love and teach me your decrees." (Psalms 119:124) Before John's cancer I thought I had a pretty good handle on God. Its interesting trudging through this "experience" to see how my understanding of things about God that I thought I already understood are much clearer to me now. If I didn't believe that God was dealing in love with me and my family though this cancer I would turn my back on God and find the God that was worthy of my attention. But knowing that God lovingly deals with me through all my experiences in life causes me to turn to Him with a heart to know Him more. Hey I wanted to know God before all this broke loose but I am finding that adversity brings to light things about God that I guess are difficult to grasp without it. Now I am more hungry than ever to know God. As sweet as relationship with God is now, I anticipate that in the future I will look back on my current understanding and say "I didn't quite get it then".

Thanks for praying...Phil

Posted Saturday, August 7, 2004 at 9:30 pm

This new chemo drug I'm getting isn't as bad as the other stuff. I get the drug on Monday and have to stay in the hospital until it all washes out. The doctors said my kidneys are working great so I got out a day earlier that expected because they got rid of the drug so fast. Getting out of Chemo early was awesome, well, at least until Mom said I had to make up 2 days of school on Friday. I am feeling ok, this chemo was not as bad but Mom still gave me atavan (it helps my nausea but it makes me forget everything). Mom commented today about how when this all started she would cry when I would hurl, but now she can eat a sandwich and carry on a conversation during my retching. Dad took me to see a prosthetist and he showed me what my leg will look like. It was cool. He also said that I would be able to water ski with it as long as I hosed it down afterward. Thank you all for still praying and sending cards, it is touching how everyone still remembers me through this long trial, I guess I didn't expect to still receive cards 7 months into this. Please pray I don't get any mouth sores with this new drug. God is good!
In Christ,

Posted Sunday, August 1, 2004 at 7:06 pm

John has finished his three courses of Ifosfamide and now starts a new drug (for him) on Monday. The routine is the same - four or five days in the hospital, but his white counts won't drop as much, he shouldn't be as nauseous, and the treatments can be given closer together. He continues to work his foot for strength and flexibility. The pressure sore is healing slowly but surely. He went to a promise-keeper event this weekend with some friends and came back with a big smile. He keeps facing the right direction (toward Jesus) and this keeps his attitude good and his faith strong.

"I will not leave you as orphans." (John 14:18) What a wonderful promise from Jesus. The word orphan elicits feelings of abandonment and dispair. That's not from the Lord. He has adopted me into his family with all the rights and priveledges of a son whose dad is God. Any perceived distance between me and God is from feelings that haven't yet yielded to fact. As I meditate on fact my feelings should fall in line with the truth.

Thanks for praying...Phil

Posted Saturday, July 24, 2004 at 10:02 pm

John had a good week. No signs of mouth sores or infections. His white count should be coming up by Monday. He got a blood transfusion Friday...its weird that this stuff is so routine now. We met with the guy who will be making John's leg when he is ready. It is hard to find someone with experience doing the kind of prosthesis that John needs. Eric is local, has done four previously, and is enthusiastic about taking John's case. His heel is healing slowly but surely. He remains cheerful (for a teenager) and daily displays God's grace. Thank you God!

Jesus speaking the night before his crucifiction..."I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33) My study bible points out two interesting contrasts in this verse...between "in me" and "in the world" and between "peace" and "trouble". I experience unexplainable peace as I abide in Christ. The world I live in offers up some pleasures but I shouldn't be surprised when trouble visits. Bottom line...trouble will not consume me because Jesus has overcome the world. I am thankful for peace! I am thankful for Jesus!

I am thankful for your prayers...Phil

Posted Sunday, July 18, 2004 at 11:06 pm

John was released from the hospital Thursday and we all breath a sigh of relief...one more down...nine to go. Now we hold on while his counts drop and pray for protection from infection and mouth sores. His attitude is generally good which makes the whole process much easier on all of us. We continue to look to God for his grace in all this and He is right here...what a great spiritual experience. We really can trust God.

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." (Psalms 46:1) Refuge means a quiet place to go to for protection. Ever-present means God is easy to find if I'll look. Here's my testimony...God's presence and sheltering is here and experienced...especially in this time of trouble. And my strength...well that's God.

Thanks for your prayers...Phil

Posted Monday, July 12, 2004 at 11:06 pm

John had a appointment with his surgeon Thursday and got his cast off. He has a pressure sore wound on his heel that looks good but is not yet healed... meaning no swimming yet. He also has a nerve that isn't working yet so keep praying. The bones have healed together and he is starting a home exercise and stretching program to start preparing for his new prosthesis (maybe later this year). It has been a nice break from chemotherapy these last few weeks but tomorrow its back to buisness at Lutheran hospital. John continues to lean on Jesus.

I found a verse in scripture that I go back to again and again. I know that I have read this verse dozens of times in the past but it really resonates with my life circumstances right now. "And so we know and rely on the love God has for us." (1 John 4:16) My life is a bit of a mess right now. This reminder in scripture has been a great place to run to in the brokenness. God's love for me is a fact that I know. Not only do I know God's love but I also rely on it...I trust in God's love even when my feelings and life situation would call it into question. The awesome thing is that as I turn my attention to His love He gives me relationship with Him...way better than a picture perfect life.

Thanks for your prayers...Phil

Posted Monday, July 5, 2004 at 4:22 pm

Here's a question: What seems to drag on and on and on? Answer: CHEMOTHERAPY! You know I do not know how those kids with leukemia survive three years of chemo. Well I guess God just gives them the grace to get through it. I met some really neat kids at cancer camp but I also saw what cancer does to kids without God. Some kids get mad at God for cancer but because they reject the only source of grace and joy all they get is their own depression and self pity. We had a short vacation at Michindoh (family camp) last weekend, which was fun. Next year I will get to swim, waterslide and run. I have another week off from chemo and am feeling good. Thank you all for praying and thank you for your continued support.

In Christ,

Posted Monday, June 28, 2004 at 10:35 pm

John was released from the hospital Friday so he could attend his grandparents 50th wedding anniversary. We gave him IV antibiotics all weekend and now that his white blood cell count is up we can stop them. He's feeling good and we have a two week break until his next course of chemotherapy so he can go to the last Bible quiz invitational of this season without a chemo hangover. It's nice to look foward to a little lull in the flurry of medical activity. The Lord showers us daily with his comfort and grace as we run to him for them.

"I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame." (Psalms 34:4,5) I am reminded by these verses not to get sloppy spiritually, especially when it looks like things will be going easier for a bit. It's natural to run to God when the heat is on but when things cool down (like now) its easy to let things slide. Keep seeking the Lord, keep looking to him and my face will be radiant...I will be delivered from fear.

Thank you for praying...Phil

Posted Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 10:25 pm

We didn't hear from John this week while he was at camp until this morning when the oncology nurse called and reported that he had a fever, chills and no white blood cells. They transported him to the hospital and started IV antibiotics right away. Then we received John's report that camp was a blast. He was surprised how many of the teens were bitter about their cancers...imagine that. All he was missing by having to leave early was a dance tonight...he wasn't too upset about that. Pray for a quick recovery of his white blood cells and resolution of this infection. The Lord is good!

"Listen to me...you whom I have upheld since you were concieved, and have carried since your birth. Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you." ( Isaiah 46:3-4) God upholds us, sustains us, rescues us, and carries us from the womb to the tomb...and then comes the good part.

Thanks for praying...Phil

Posted Sunday, June 20, 2004 at 9:11 pm

John vomited on and off through the weekend including this morning but then was ready to go to church and off to cancer kids' camp this afternoon. He had been unsure about going this past week because of bad camp experiences he has had in the past, chemo side effects, and because of his present physical limitations. As we talked about it I mentioned that it might be a great oportunity to encourage some other kids in the Lord. He replied, "I know dad! That is the main reason I want to go." Pray for that soldier. His immunity will bottom out this week, he will be at risk of infections and mouth sores. (and pray for his parents during this separation)

My conversation with John reminded me of these verses. "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have recieved from God." (2 Corinthians 1:3,4) John and our family have indeed been comforted by God in this trial and I am confident He will continue to comfort us out of His compassion for us. Part of the joy found during suffering is having the opportunity to share the comfort we have recieved with others in their troubles.

Thanks for your prayers...Phil

Posted Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 10:11 pm

John got home from the hospital this evening...tired out, on the edge of vomitting, but happy to be home. We are hopeful he can bounce back as quickly as his last round of chemo so he can attend some of "cancer camp" next week. It is a special summer camp for kids with cancer to get together and have some fun. Thanks for also praying that he won't get mouth sores , infections, and that his healthy tissues would be protected while the cancer gets destroyed.

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18) Wow, are these commands really in the Bible? If I claim to be in Christ Jesus these are my goals...my calling. Some good food for thought, reflection, and flat out crying out to God for help to live the life he calls me to.

Thanks for your prayers...Phil

Posted Sunday, June 13, 2004 at 9:48 pm

John saw the surgeon Thursday and his wounds are healing very well. One nerve is damaged but he thinks it will heal in time (and prayer). John is as active as you can be with one a half legs. He is still in a cast because it fells better immobilized for now. He and his sisters had quiz meet this weekend...they won second and will go to a national competition next month. He remains cheerful and goes with the treatment "flow". Tomorrow starts another round of chemotherapy.

"Praise the Lord. How good it is to sing praises to our God, how pleasant and fitting to praise him!" (psalms 147:1) Three words struck me in this verse...good, pleasant, and fitting. And what are these words describing? Praise to God. My praise to God is not dependent on my circumstances but on who He is. He is worthy of my praise...created to the creator...child to Father...beloved to lover. I may not always feel like praising him, but as I praise him I experience how good , pleasant, and fitting it is to praise him.

Thanks for your prayers....Phil

Posted Wednesday, June 9, 2004 at 11:00 pm

Quizzing finals is this weekend; I hope I have studied enough. I am still working on getting confortable at night, please pray that I will sleep better. As for my attitude I am still in high spirits due to all the support I am getting from all of you and to God's grace. As summer starts I can watch my siblings swim and ride bikes and it is kinda discouraging but I have decided that next year I will be the ultimate party animal on one and a half legs. When mom comes in from weeding usually she says, "John, I can't wait until next year when you can help me." I think she has a next-year list for me to do, so I may also end up being the ultimate pack horse.

Isn't it great how we get new bodies in heaven? I won't need to walk around with a fake leg there. 1 Corinthians 15:42-44 "The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body." Thank you all for your prayers and cards.

In Christ,

Posted Saturday, June 5, 2004 at 10:34 pm

John's feeling good even though his white count and hemoglobin are low. All that means is that he needs to limit contact with others to prevent infections...he has no mouth sores. He also may need a transfusion before his next chemotherapy. God has blessed him with a wonderful attitude which makes life easier for all of us. He's working hard on finishing up school (two weeks to go) and Bible quizzing (he has a tournament next weekend). A day doesn't go by without an encouragement card arriving in the mail. We receive daily reminders that many are lifting us up in prayer...humbling...speechless.

A quick update on Laura's dad. He has recovered from his surgery completely and feels much better than he has for months. He is grateful for your prayers on his behalf and so are we.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." (John 14:1) Some of Jesus' words to his disciples on their final night together before he was crucified. The answer to a troubled heart...trust in God. The cause of a troubled heart...misplaced trust and/or lack of trust in God. Is God trustworthy? If he isn't I need a different God.

Thanks for your prayers...Phil

Posted Wednesday, June 2, 2004 at 9:11 pm

John is recovering quickly from this round of chemo. His energy is back, he's plugging away at school and Bible quizzing, he's cheerful,...life is good. His white blood count is down so we are praying that he won't get infected, won't get any mouth sores, and his counts will recover quickly. Daily we rest in God's peace and run to Him when it isn't here.

"All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." (Psalms 139:16) Even before our birth God had a plan for our lives. I find much more comfort tracing this current storm in our lives to God's hand rather than to some random misfortune of life. Knowing that God is love perfected and that He is in control allows me to rest in a peace beyond understanding.

Thanks for praying...Phil

Posted Saturday, May 29, 2004 at 8:33 pm

John got out of the hospital Friday. He only vomited twice and was awake and interacting with the world about half the time. This new medication seems less hard on him but he feels pretty washed out right now at home...Please pray for a quick return of his energy, freedom from mouth sores, no infections, and a continued focus on Jesus as the source of his joy and peace. God is so faithful to give us peace as long as we look to him for it.

In the midst of a trial it is normal and right to cry out to God for relief. But we can't and shouldn't make that the dominant theme of our lives as we wait on God for his answer. "But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me." (Psalms 313:2) The dominant theme of our lives in and out of trials needs to be satisfaction with relationship with God. As I slog through this muddy water of John's cancer I am finding that God is enough...my soul is satisfied in Him.

Thanks for your prayers...Phil

Posted Wednesday, May 26, 2004 at 10:08 pm

John is about half way through this week of chemotherapy. We have changed drugs now and have decided to go with the original treatment plan rather than the other more aggressive (dangerous) proposals. He's still getting some high dose poisons. You can pray in particular for protection for his bladder, brain, and bone marrow, that he won't get mouth sores or infections, and that any remaining cancer would respond to treatment. John is cheerful, tired, and resting in God's overflowing grace.

"Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God." (Psalms 20:7) Back in King David's day, chariots and horses were the premium fighting tools for battle. In this cancer battle, there are plenty of options for fighting to win. My natural bend is to choose the hardest hitting most aggressive alternative in the fear that anything less may fail to accomplish a cure. This verse helps me to get my focus back to where it belongs. My trust is not in the chemo; my trust is in the Lord. The Lord will be the one who heals John...or not. I'm glad we have chemo, but I'm more glad we have a Loving Almighty God.

Thanks for your prayers...Phil

Posted Sunday, May 23, 2004 at 10:38 pm

John's staples came out Thursday...he's glad he doesn't have to go through that again...it hurt. His wounds are healing well and he is in a cast to help protect his leg and keep his foot pointed (ballerina position) in preparation for fitting his prosthesis after chemotherapy is done. His spirits are good. Chemotherapy is set to start again Tuesday. The decision has been made about what medications to use next. It has been an interesting, make that agonizing, process. There are as many opinions as people we talk to. The bottom line is that no one knows the right thing to do. There are extreemely aggressive aproaches that run the risk of putting John on the heart transplant list because of drug toxicities but hold the promise (unproven) of better cure rates. There are less aggressive aproaches that make you wonder if two years later you won't look back and wish you had done more. There is the possibility that John is already cured or the possibility that nothing will cure him. It's all quite maddening. Then there's the alternative medicine options. We have asked God to help us know what to do and he has answered with a peace about the decision.

"Listen to advise and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise. Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." (Proverbs 19:20-21) These verses have been my refuge through this decision making time. God knows our desire for wisdom and he will help us know whose advise to follow. Ultimately it is God's purpose that will prevail...a good purpose...a loving purpose...a purpose that will bring glory to God.

Thank you for standing with us in prayer...

Posted Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 9:06 pm

John should get his staples out Thursday...he isn't looking foward to it. Someone suggested he interview the staple removal technician and check her references to make sure she is gentle and experienced. We're going to put some numbing cream on the wound, give him some pain medicine, and pray...so it shouldn't be too bad. Chemo is schedualed to start Monday but the jury is still out about what drugs to use. John has some pressure sores that need healing...one on his heel. He plugs away at school, more motivated than ever since his brothers and sisters are done for the year. His attitude is great. God showers him with grace for each day. When we get up-tight we are reminded of the simple little lessons...don't worry about tomorrow...trust in the Lord with all your heart.

Jesus said, "I am the vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful." (John 15:1,2) Disruptive moments in life are definitely times of pruning. In order for me to thrive and blossom I need to be pruned from time to time. Yes, pruning hurts but the gardener is loving and skilled. Someone once said, "The Father is never closer to the vine than when He is pruning it." That's been my experience.

Thanks for praying...

Posted Sunday, May 16, 2004 at 4:33 pm

Last week and the week coming seem like a cease-fire in the war. John gets out daily for about a quarter mile hike (with his crutches) and goes up and down the stairs in our house three at a time. Someone lent us a wheelchair which he hasn't used yet. God's grace to John and our family touches us daily. When John saw his surgeon last week he was pleased with John's progress but some of his wound isn't healed yet so no staples out until later this week which delayed chemotherapy a week. The pathology result of the tumor in his leg showed 98% cell death of the tumor cells ( 95% or better is considered a favorable response to chemotherapy). This great result has caused some controversy about the next steps with John's treatment. Please pray for the doctors making those decisions. Also pray that John's wounds heal well and that a nerve in his foot that isn't working would wake up.

The story of Lazarus is told in John 11:1-44. It's interesting that Jesus delayed his trip to help Lazarus and allowed him to die (verses 6, 14, 15) A friend sent us a quote from John Piper commenting on this. "How many people today - even Christians - would murmur at Jesus for callously letting Lazarus die and putting Mary and Martha through the pain and misery of those days? And if people today saw that this was motivated by Jesus's desire to magnify the glory of God, how many would call this harsh or unloving? What this shows is how far above the glory of God most people value painfree lives. For most people, love is whatever puts human value and human well-being at the center. So Jesus' behavior is unintelligible to them. But let us not tell Jesus what love is. Let us not instruct Him how He should love us and make us central. Let us learn from Jesus what love is and what our true well-being is. Love is doing whatever you need to do to help people see and savor the glory of God in Christ forever and ever. Love keeps God central. Because the soul was made for God."

These are truths that have come to life in our trial. They give meaning and purpose to what appears on the surface to be needless suffering. It would seem like a cold truth were it not for two sweet words nested in this story of Lazarus. "Jesus wept." (John 11:35) He didn't weep because he could do nothing about the situation. I'd like to think that he was moved by the grief of his friends. He doesn't go about heartlessly orchestrating the events of our lives for his glory...but he grieves with us and sheds tears with us as he works our his perfect and loving plan. God be glorified!

Thank you for praying....Phil

Posted Thursday, May 13, 2004 at 9:04 pm

Mom drove me down to Indianapolis this morning (long drive), we arrived almost 45 minutes early (that has got to be a Chase record). We sat down in the waiting room and I opened up my Quizzing book. Our visit with Dr. Rougraff was short but very positive. The first thing we found out was that he is going to wait another week before taking out the staples (thank God because it looks like it is going to be painful). The second (and best) thing he told us is that the analysis of the removed tumor showed up as 98% DEAD. The cancer cells that were not dead looked so sickly that Dr. Rougraff said that they would have probably died within a week. We sadly still have to do 12 more chemos but at least we now know that those evil tumor cells are being slaughtered and all this vomitting isn't for nothing. Mom and I left the building with big smiles on our faces and our hearts were praising God for such good news. Thank you all for your prayers and supporting letters. If anyone has a good idea for painless staple removal please let me know. A blow to the head for unconciousness has already been recommended (by Dad).

In Christ,

Posted Tuesday, May 11, 2004 at 9:48 pm

I am now two weeks out from surgery. I am doing ok but now and then I get a jolt of pain in my leg, please pray that it goes away. I only get to see my leg when dad changes the dressing, it looks pretty weird. Jesus has been so good to me through this, when I start looking ahead at 12 more chemos I could just cry, but when I feel that way I close my eyes and pray to my savior that he would take my worries and he does. I have spent a couple of hours re-reading some of your letters; I have burst into tears from your support. As I sit here typing this I can't help but feel blessed. God has blessed me so much by giving me so many supporters. I needed your support and you gave it to me. Thank you all for your prayers.

In Christ,

Posted Thursday, May 6, 2004 at 9:53 pm

John is having minimal pain now and off all pain meds except Tylenol and Aleve. He's busy plugging away at school work and does laps around the house to get back in shape. The vomiting is gone and he's obediently eating for his mother. God has blessed him with a desire to see the big picture of life instead of focusing on his personal losses. We talk a lot at home...this is new to all of us and we want to be teachable students. No chemo for 10 more days and John sees the surgeon in a week. Each day...every breath...what a gift from God.

"Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name." (Psalms 86:11) A teachable spirit, that's my desire. I am so easily decieved by my flesh, the world, and the devil. My internal wrestling with God's plan and my yearning for control is evidence of a divided heart. Oh God, your way, your truth, your glory...and for me, give me an undivided heart.

Thanks for your prayers...

Posted Tuesday, May 4, 2004 at 10:23 pm

I started John on IV fluids tonight. So far he has been able to keep his pain meds down and has been practically painfree but he has kept little food or liquids down otherwise. This afternoon he's not even kept fluids down so the IV will help keep him from dehydrating and I can give some IV meds for nausea. So far so good. Over the next few days we will be able to taper off some of the pain meds and hopefully his gut will settle. His attitude is good for the most part and he is adjusting to his new anatomical layout well. He can pretty much go where ever he wants.

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever." (Psalms 118:1) In a little over three short months I feel like we have been through a hurricane. Sure, God has answered some of our prayers with a "no"... but it gives me great confidence for the future to know that through it all my heart is still thankful to God... I can still shout that the Lord is good... and I know beyond a doubt that his love will never fail us because it endures forever.

God bless you for standing with us and praying...

Posted Sunday, May 2, 2004 at 20:26 pm

John got home today. His pain is well controlled but he occasionally vomits his medicine up making it tricky to give him his medicine and keep it down. Pray that the vomiting would stop and for continued good healing and pain control. So nice to be together as a family again. Much to be thankful for...

Thank you for your prayers...

Posted Saturday, May 1, 2004 at 11:59 pm

Very tough day today. John is either sleeping from the narcotics or in some level of pain from moderate to severe. Unfortunately he can't sleep all the time because he must get out of bed and walk periodically and eat for strength and healing. Its my job to make sure he does these...so I'm not the most popular guy in the room much of the time. The doctors are working to adjust his oral pain meds so he can go home tomorrow. Please pray for good relief of his pain and the ability to deal well with the pain when he has it. The rehab road often isn't easy so he's going to need a good dose of grace as he continues this journey. We're so glad God doesn't waste pain...we're confident he has a purpose for all of this, though it's hard to see sometimes from this vantage point.

"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." (1 Peter 5:10) Well I could do without the "after you have suffered a little while" part, but the rest is good...uh... apparently God thinks it is all good. John and I are looking foward to the less ouchy part of this plan. God promises that he himself will restore us and make us strong, firm and steadfast. We'll be able to look back on the suffering and say...it was just a little while...and it was good.

Thanks for your prayers...