Posted Sunday, February 29, 2004 at 2:57 pm
Hey, everybody. Johnny will now exit Internet silence. The
only things I remember from being in the hospital are reading
my book the first day and watching the movie "Batman" the
second or third day. It's funny what happens when you are
drugged enough to sleep three days away, so if you want the
plot to "Batman" don't ask me. I only remember the part where
he gets the "Bat Signal".
"Resting in the Lord" is a very strange phrase. I was really
resting at the hospital, but it's difficult to rest at home,
lying in bed, wondering about what is happening to the
cancer. I'd rather just sleep through this entire thing, than
have to function through it, like doing school. All I can
really do today is thank all of you for your prayers and
letters. They are so encouraging.
Posted Saturday, February 28, 2004 at 8:04 pm
John and I came home from the hospital yesterday. He slept
about 90% of the time during the chemo and he has decided he
prefers that to being awake and nauseous. He's pretty pooped
out but in good spirits. He'll get IVs every night through
the weekend to keep him hydrated. Thanks for praying for
protection for his good cells while we beat-up the cancer
cells. Our whole family is reaping the benefits of your
prayers...God is here and He is close.
Yesterday I woke early with a worship song on my mind, "I'll
never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross."
As I looked at my son sleeping on the bed nearby, lips pale,
cap on his bald head, IV's running into him....I thought how I
dispise what cancer has done to my son. Then God reminded me
that he took my cancer (sin) and put it on his son. "God made
him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might
become the righteousness of God" (2 Corinthians 5:21) There
is a lot of talk about the suffering of Christ, but what of God
the Father watching his son beaten, bloodied, hung on the
cross as my sins were paid for. Out of love for me, God
chose...he chose to allow his son to suffer so my problem with
sin could be taken care of. May the small personal pain of
this trial with my son drive me to the loving arms of my God
who withheld nothing that I might get everything.
Thanks for praying...
Posted Wednesday, February 25, 2004 at 11:01 pm
John slept much of yesterday and today. The medications he
gets to prevent side effects makes him sleepy and when he
wakes he feels pretty good. Dr. Hill is really pleased with
how well he is handling all this...thank you God for answered
This PET scan result has been an interesting aside to me in
this journey. I know that clean lungs raises the odds of cure
in this disease, but honestly, does it really matter if John's
lungs are clear or not? It is a nice little glimmer of hope
for a cure for John...and we all pray for that...like children
pleading with their daddy. But where must we place our hope.
"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within
me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my
Savior and My God." (Psalms 42:5) A downcast and disturbed
soul is the soul of a man who puts his hope in anything but
God. I can't put my hope in a cure for John. I can put my
hope in God...he's proven his love through Christ...He'll do
Thank you for praying...
Posted Tuesday, February 24, 2004 at 9:54 pm
Such a day of good news!
My father came through his triple by-pass heart surgery and is
recovering. My sisters tell me he is talking and up. Thank
you, LORD, for extending his life. Thank you, friends, for
praying for him and me.
Phil and Johnny are bunking in the hospital tonight. Thanks to
the wonders of laptop computers, Phil spent the day doing his
taxes at Johnny's bedside, while Johnny killed tumor cells all
day with chemo.
Another dose of good news came today. The PET scan done
yesterday demonstrated a lot of cancer activity in Johnny's
leg, as expected, but showed no similar activity in his
lungs. We are not out of the woods, but it is very likely
that the spots in Johnny's lungs are not cancer. We are
cautious, yet hopeful, since this significantly increases the
likelihood for cure.
Thank you dear friends for standing with us in prayer! We
KNOW the comfort of our LORD, deeper than ever before. And
you, His Hands and Feet, have supported us with hugs and meals
and comforting words and notes in the mail that come at just
the right time. Thank you for walking with us.
Finally, I'd like to stop a misconception out there. Some of
you who read this have commented on how strong we are. Let me
clue you in up front. All my education, experience, wisdom,
confidence, etc. lasted all of about 5 minutes after Johnny's
diagnosis. I am a heap of cooked spaghetti on the floor. There
is no strength here. Anything strong you see is purely Jesus.
And He's there for you, too.
Posted Monday, February 23, 2004 at 10:36 pm
Hey everyone, Dad has been bugging me to get on the web and
post something. NOW, is probably the best time for me to say
something because it is the only day(since chemo.) that I feel
good enough to type something other than commands for a
computer game. I have been anticipating all weekend about
chemo tomorrow, but I thank you for all your prayers because
when I turn my eyes toward Jesus...all the worry and fear are
shrunk down to a tiny smudge on the computer screen(I came up
with that analogy all my self :-) ). Knowing you are praying
is a huge encouragement to me...God is with me everyday.
Somewhere in Matthew Jesus said not to worry about tomorrow,
and that verse has stuck with me this entire adventure. I
recently read 2 Corinthians 12:9 "God's power is made perfect
in weakness" I really understand that verse now and thank God
again and again for his strength. Thank you all so much for
praying and supporting me.
In Christ(and that is where
I intend to stay)
Posted Sunday, February 22, 2004 at 10:05 pm
Had a busy day today going to church and then driving to South
Bend to visit Laura's dad who is to have open-heart surgery
tomorrow. Please pray for him, Bill Carter. He has a
relationship with Jesus and is not afraid to die, but he would
love to have more time to serve the Lord. John starts IV
fluids tomorrow at home in preparation for starting chemo
Tuesday. Laura obviously feels torn between the two. John
will also have a PET scan tomorrow to evaluate the nodules in
Those of you who have seen John can attest to his
peace in the Lord. "For the Lord is good. His love endures
forever. His faithfulness continues to all generations."
(Psalms 100:5) I love words like forever and all. Words I
don't have to wonder about or qualify. "Forever" includes
yesterday, today, and tomorrow. "All generations" include Dad
Carter, Laura, and John. Doubt and fear have no root in the
promises of scripture where God reveals his true nature and
puts to rest our fears.
Thank you for your prayers...
Posted Thursday, February 19, 2004 at 8:00 pm
John and I spent the day seeing two doctors in Indy. Dr Hock
is a pediatric oncologist. We visited for a bit and then he
reviewed John's xrays with a radiologist. They think most of
the small nodules on John's lungs might be histoplasmosis...a
common infection in farm country and harmless. He has one
larger one on his right lung they are also wondering about...
we're going to run some more tests...painless tests to John's
delight. Then Dr Rougraff is the oncologic orthopedist.
After discussing the options, short of a miraculous healing,
the best option will be a rotationplasty...amputating the knee
and bringing up the ankle to use as a new knee...but before
connecting everything they rotate the foot to face backwards
so everything will bend right. He says they do this more in
Europe for kids who want to be able to keep playing soccer.
The other options have more limitations on activity and more
complications. As this doctor is trying to discribe all the
different options and their limitations... John keeps saying
"forget that" and then he launches into all the plans he has
for his fake leg.
John's ready to go...but first three more
rounds of chemotherapy. How can I ever doubt God. "He who
did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all - how
will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all
things" (Romans 8:32) This verse argues from the greater
(giving his son) to the lesser (giving us all things). This
resonates with me as a father. The Father heart of God was
willing to even give his son...even to the cross. How can I
doubt God's good intentions toward us...his kids. I can trust
the Father heart of God.
Thanks for your prayers...